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Dec

2011

Life in the Fast Lane

By admin. Posted in Comments on Life | Comments Off

“I don’t even have time to pick my nose!”

For a guy saddled with a dominant Taedio Majorius gene, this about left me rolling on the floor.  Who has time to document how much time they get to spend picking their nose?  Are there statistics for this?  Has there been a productivity study documenting just how much time we spend blowing our noses versus just picking them? 

I may not be a very interesting guy to most people, but that doesn’t relegate me to the couch, wasting away the day picking my nose (I tend to pick while on the move, more of a “pick and flick” kind of guy I guess).  I’ve never really stopped to contemplate the time and energy spent (not wasted) on extracting partially-solidified nasal secretions – it’s just a fact of life that sometimes, a good nose picking is just what the doctor ordered (though he’d probably have some disclaimer about disenfecting afterwards to prevent that dreaded germ spread issue).

I’ll be the first to state that it’s socially unacceptable to pointedly and proudly pick your nose for the entire world to share and experience.  There are some things that people just don’t want to know or acknowledge.  However, that shouldn’t force the fact under the table – it happens, whether we like to admit it or not.

So, back to the comment – it actually says a lot about our lives.  If you can’t find the time to relieve your physical suffering and pick your nose, your life must be crazy hectic.  I image the ubermommy flying down the highway, scheduling orthodonsist appointments via cell phone, admonishing kids in the backseat who are bickering, trying to calm a screaming baby who just want the Disney DVD to start playing again, and trying to cut over 3 lanes before she misses the exit for preschool.  If your life is this busy, skip the roses (they usually stink after a short time anyway) and proceed directly to nose picking.  You’ll get more bang and satisfaction for the moment of effort, and it’ll be a relief that will last far longer than the stink of decaying floral arrangements. 

If nothing else, you’ll breathe better, have one less distraction and get to focus more on the things that really matter, like that itch you just noticed on your left butt cheek.  Better wait till you get to the exit to deal with that one.

admin is I'm really a very interesting guy, if you like to have conversations about insurance premiums, daily financial concerns, and the futures market of soybeans and sugar cane waste products.
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